Match Report

True Colours

I don’t suppose many people were expecting a match report from the Fourths this week…wonder why?

To save further embarrassment, and since we were playing Ex BLUES, the team will be named as follows:

A back four of Mr White, Mr Green, Mr Brown and Mr Grey.
A four man midfield of Mr Yellow, Mr Orange, Mr Purple, Mr Red.
A front two of Mr Lilac and Mr Beigey-Cream.

The sub was Mr Pink.

Oh, and Mr Puce was making a welcome return in goal.

The key figure was to be Mr Black…

The fortunate ones who couldn’t make the game (Des included) gave us good notice this week, for which the deputy management are as grateful as they no doubt are for missing this debacle. So at least we had a good idea of the squad from which we could formulate a master plan.

With no water bottles, first aid kit or, God forbid, footballs to interfere with our match preparation, and all the Bromley League admin being completed as we spun up for ends, it was a bad omen that we lost the toss and would be playing into the breeze and sun and up the slope. Blues had their chances and took one for an early 1-0 lead, but we competed well and thought we had scored in a goalmouth scramble from a corner, but the ref was just signalling for a free kick to the oppos. Approaching half time we felt quite comfortable, looking forward to the elements in our favour for the second half. A free kick was then awarded to Ex Blues 20 yards out, and in the ensuing setting-up-the-wall / waiting-for-the-whistle confusion their bloke knocked it in. 2-0 at the half.

The talk during the interval was still positive, one goal back and they would crumble… but then a funny thing happened. The wind changed, the sun went in and a small localised earth tremor meant we were kicking up the slope again. Despite all of which we had a great chance to pull a goal back after an hour but we missed a one-on-one with the keeper. Five minutes later our skipper was sent off for a tackle that was more deserving of a yellow than red card, especially as it happened just after one of the Ex Blues got just a yellow for stamping on the shin of the Guild player that had the temerity to tackle him. That would be an interesting referee’s report to see.

So, down to 10 men, 2-0 down and just under half an hour to go…your Question of Sport “What Happened Next…?”. Well we failed to reorganise quickly enough, conceded 2 quick goals and gave up. It’s hard to see how we could have let more goals in if we had walked off the pitch in sympathy with the Red-carded One and gone for an early beer.

Man of the match? Well collective responsibility means we can all take the blame for one of their 12 each, and no-one really felt like taking any votes. I just hope it hasn’t scarred the youngsters too much. Thanks to those that played, let’s try to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Our travelling Barmy (well how else could you describe anyone prepared to watch that?) Army, Geoff Jones, stayed to the bitter end before tearing up his season ticket.

Just remember, it could always be worse…you could be a Spurs fan…