Sunday 19th November 2006
By Chris Ponulak
Yakety yak said the Coasters during the 1960s rave-on which took the world by storm by introducing a more than overt subculture with the dream of free love, plenty of drug abuse, and a great tendency to harmonise the world’s creative forces to establish a peaceful future for mankind. Unfortunately the greed culture had other ideas and quickly stifled any notion of pacificity and instead substituted it with an emphasis on wealth creation for oneself and an arrogant but effective tax avoidance system for the already wealthier members of society, thus deepening the ever widening chasm between the have and have-nots. Of course this notion soon self imploded when a young lady by the name of con-blue pushed further the concept of stock-exchange numbers for life, and conned an entire generation into believing that wad loads of dosh, brings increasing delusions of status and sanity, while the quick-fix of monopoly winners hold their heads high as they run to gluttonous bean feasts on the back of our hard earned cash.
With this in mind the Farnborough Vets eleven took the field on a sunny but somewhat brass-monkey morn. As usual our tendency to begin every game as fast as a meandering gerbil stuffed with a barrel load of silicon gel, found us again 1-0 down with only a brief nano-second of the game gone. Creative as we might, the concept of actually scoring before the opposition was just an insane gesture on our part. So once again we had to come from behind which of course does not worry the shirt-lifters in any team, but it does bug me somewhat that the first thing we have to do after the kick-off is pick the ball out of our own net. There were some good changes of positions and occupations in today’s game. Toby "The Kitten" Harlow played in goal while "Pompey” had suddenly become a lumberjack wanting to chop anything in sight. Toby "flat man" Manchip was playing up front while Colly Ebdon was viewing his new job as a horizontal hospital patient under the influence of tissue-laden handfuls of ether.
The game continued apace and without the hesitation of a full frontal lobotomy, Manchippy fell to the rather mud sodden undergrowth, with the impression of a two ton neutron nuclear fail-safe aplomb. He unduly slapped the penalty away with the precision of a rather elated oversized sausage roll covered in marzipan.
The second half started much as the first, but before you knew it we were two more behind. Once again we lost the chance of beating a side that we should. But as the 60s legend Connie Francis once said "Who’s sorry now?" which leaves me just to report that simultaneous equations have no real place in the real world unless supported by the meaningful but none of the less dated concept of abstract algebra fitting itself into the modern dynamics of intrinsic mathematics. To be able to create massive world numbing killing arsenals from mathematical principles, begs the question: why can’t they do the same for poverty?
Alas poor winning I knew him well...................you can always go training!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
luv ya Jimmy the Fish
Man Of The Match = Toby Harlow and Chris Ponulakkkkkkkkkkkkkky....well done.